on vegan weddings

My fiance would like to have a vegan wedding and I have been thinking a lot about how we can accomplish this. First off, my close friend and baker extraordinaire, who goes by the moniker Madame Buttercream, has graciously offered to experiment with vegan cake recipes. So that is good news! But I was confused about how others would feel about attending a celebration and finding their food choices limited.

I have a wonderful support group of friends on Facebook where I set up a group solely to discuss our wedding. I pose questions and they answer with honest feedback or give me ideas and advice. I posted today about my food dilemma and everyone unanimously agreed that it's our wedding and we should serve whatever we want. Our guests will be appreciative and want to celebrate with us no matter what is on the menu.

Plus, I was assured that if there will be alcohol, everyone will be happy!

So, I'm still not sure what will be on the menu but I have decided not to let the limitation of serving vegan food dictate the time of the ceremony and whether or not we are serving hor d'oeuvres or an actual meal. But I would love to throw it out there to the vegan community for feedback: what did you serve at your own weddings?

I'm anxious to hear your answers! Please comment and share this post among your vegan friends!

trading one group of assholes for another

trading one group of assholes for another

I think I may have traded one opinionated, self-righteous group of assholes for another.

I made this epiphany yesterday after reading two sets of comments spewing hate, intolerance, vitriol and a holier-than-thou attitude that left a really bad taste in my mouth. Especially bad now that I belong to both groups of commenters.

One was a group of Christians posting about why gay marriage is so wrong, unnatural and damning; and the other was a group of vegans shaming a poster who admitted he wasn't vegan. At best, the vegans suggested that he should go fuck himself. At worst, they posted memes implying he should die a cruel and hellish death. Strangely enough, the Christians predicted a similar fate for homosexuals, the "hellish" part anyway.

I posted awhile back about how it feels to be Christan and love sex, and how I have rejected many of the social. political and economic ideals held dear by evangelical Christians because I find them antithetical to Jesus' teachings of love, forgiveness and acceptance.

I've started following several vegan groups now that I'm on the vegan bandwagon and have found them to be equally intolerant and hateful. I'm quickly learning why so many people hate vegans, and it's for the same reasons that people hate Christians. What I find most interesting about this parallel is that so many vegans are atheists. And many Christians feel that eating meat is a God-granted right. So far apart philosophically, yet their treatment of people who disagree with them is strikingly similar.

Just as I stepped back from mainstream Christianity to publicly declare I'm "Not Like That," I feel I must do the same with my newfound veganism. I promise my meat-eating friends and family members that I will respect their choices while I hope that they will respect mine. Not to say I won't discuss my beliefs. I will, and I will do it with respect.

How can you have an ideology that's based on compassion and love, whether it's for humans or animals, and be such an asshole? It really blows my mind that any group would think this is the right way to promote their agenda and gain converts.

I welcome your thoughts.

the broccoli-hating vegan

I did have one strong moment yesterday when my fiance and I were traveling back home from New York, where we attended a wedding and spent time with his family on Long Island. We went to P.F. Chang's for dinner where I have always gotten the Crispy Honey Shrimp and he even asked me if that was what I wanted. But I turned to him and said adamantly, "No. I'm vegan now." That was really hard for me to do because shrimp and crab were among my favorite dishes. But I felt pretty damn victorious and resolute!

The other hard thing for me to give up has been dairy, just things like coffee creamer and a little bit of cheese on my sandwich. I wasn't a milk drinker at all before, which I guess is a good thing considering the studies (http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/to-your-health/wp/2014/10/31/study-milk-may-not-be-very-good-for-bones-or-the-body/) coming out recently. I switched to almond milk years ago, so I don't miss cow's milk at all in my cereal or for other cooking. But for coffee creamer, it's just not the same. Oh, and ice cream. I cannot forget the deliciousness I used to enjoy known as ice cream.

We also had this conversation at dinner last night.

Him: Here, try this asparagus. It's bangin'!

Me: Okay (taking bite and chewing tentatively, trying to be positive.) I think I might as well just start eating flower stems. That's what it tastes like to me (shaking my head apologetically.)

Him. Well, it basically is. (He shoves another forkful enthusiastically into his mouth.)

...later...

Me: (Watching him attack a plate of steaming broccoli) I think you are personally offended that I don't like broccoli.

Him: I'm not personally offended. I just don't understand it.

Me: What's to understand? It just tastes bad! (This time, he's shaking his head.)

I did eat the vegetarian lettuce wraps and kung pao tofu with these really tasty carrots and brown rice and enjoyed them. It is slowly getting easier and taking less thought now though after two months. I'm still hoping I will wake up some morning and miraculously like broccoli.

And maybe at some point I won't be the only fat, broccoli-hating vegan in the world.